Archive for the 'Life' Category

Just One Of Those Days

Published on January 6, 2010 in Life, Rants, Stupidity and WTF Moment. 0 Comments

Do you ever have one of those days where everything seems to be going the complete opposite of what you want, look out for, try to do etc? Yeah, it has been one of those today.

It started off alright, took the bus to the station and waited for the next one. When it arrived I got in and watched a stream of other people get in as well and there was this one girl, let’s call her ‘I like to play music loudly from my telephone’ or ILTPMLFMT, this one girl was trying to get in from the back all sneaky like, but she hadn’t accounted for the VERY alert bus driver who looked at her from his rear view mirror and just shook his hand, he called her up front and called her out for trying to sneak in. That was a definite FTW moment.

It was a lovely moment to start the day off with, I hate it when people try to sneak on in the bus because they are to cheap to buy a ticket…. and it went all down the hill from there.

I got out at the stop where the grocery store was and started walking toward it when WHAM! A snowball hit me right in the gut. Every so grateful for my coat since the padding totally blocked the impact. I looked around and there was literally NO ONE around me who could have thrown that snowball. The only thing that could have made that impact was if the snow was coming from the tree above me, but that would have been a VERTICAL drop, not a HORIZONTAL one.

I just shrugged it off and went on with my business and got everything I needed at the store where there was a LONG ASS LINE at the checkout and ONE person behind it. That person called in  someone else and nodded for me, yes DIRECTLY AT ME, to come join his line, I started walking when someone started pushing me from behind and someone started rushing in the front.

SERIOUSLY. First of all, DO NOT PUSH ME. Second of all. I WAS THERE FIRST. The guy nodded at ME to go to the front of the line. Boundaries people. Yes. I can be selfish that way.

It turns out that the pushing wasn’t really on purpose, it was more of the hurry before the bitch to your left gets there who was hauling ass like nobody’s business… and then the fighting started. Yup, a good ‘ol ‘I’m pissed at you and you’re pissed at me’ kind of fight with all sorts of nasty looks and words.

Let’s give them some names so I can retell this properly.

Pusher = guy that pushed me to get to the front
AssHauler = bitch who cut the line
Random Pregnant Lady (or RPL) = pregnant lady who did anything BUT mind her own business
Me = Me… duh

Pusher: Why did you do that?
AssHauler: What it was open!
Pusher: I only have three things. And she was first (dude points at me)
AssHauler: Well go in front of me then.
Me: *sigh* (mumbling) Here we go
RPL: Seriously, there’s a ton of people waiting, I only have three things.
Me: (thinking) Where the heck did the pregnant lady come from?
Pusher: It is not nice to cut in front of people
AssHauler: There was an opening and I took it.
Pusher: You saw us going for the line and you hauled ass to get there first!
AssHauler: Just mind your own business.
Me: *stepping in between the two*
Pusher: This IS my business.
RPL: You’re a nasty, nasty woman.
Me: *sigh*
Pusher: She is a nasty women indeed
AssHauler: Oh shut up and go away.
At this point both RPL and Pusher start to move forward and I literally had to put my shopping card and my self in between.
Me: (loudly) I do NOT have the patience for this today.
And everyone just gave each other a look of hatred and moved away.
Yay for me! Peace finally!

I did my business, paid for the groceries and walked out the store and on to the bus stop… and I got hit with a snowball AGAIN. This time in my neck. WHAT THE FUCK is going on! Same friggin’ spot on the sidewalk even. And AGAIN, there was NO ONE AROUND. Well no one close enough to make it that far anyway. I grumbled the entire way to the bus stop and then I noticed a couple of people walking in that same spot and suddenly they were all up in arms and looking around and cleaning out their clothes… they got hit as well and they couldn’t find the person who did it either.

And now I’m at home, finally, warm and I hit my big toe… again. I hate this day.

The Big Important Life Update (Part 3)

Published on December 13, 2009 in Life. 0 Comments

And here I went from posting every day for a month and a half to posting every couple of days. It is so easy to slack off / procrastinate when there is not a goal / assignment attached to it. Do any of you have the same problem? I do enjoy writing and coming up with a log post, but it is so easy to just leave it be.

I have the same problem with blog posts that are a series. I started writing a series of ‘the big important life update’ (part 1 and part 2 so far) and then I just STOPPED WRITING IT. I mean seriously, why is it so hard to continue with these damn updates. I was doing pretty darn good too.

So this will in fact be The Big Important Life Update Part 3.

Today marks the end of the third week without daily therapy. It’s been rough. I miss the people and strangely enough I miss certain therapists. I knew I was going to miss the group, but I didn’t think I’d miss the therapists as much as I do. Guess I thought wrong. I am however still in contact with the Drama therapist, D. I’ve worked with her two times now, getting some ‘kinks’ out of my life that are still in there and to discover how much of those kinks I actually *want* to lose.

Monday I had my second appointment with her, which I was glad for because my day was slowly turning to shit. I woke up with a bad feeling. I just knew that this day was not going to be a good day and it was pissing me off. Then when I was at the train station, there was this wave of people coming from the right who were getting off the train and I nearly had a panic attack.

I’m not good with crowds, I’ve never been and I probably never will be, but for the past year or so I have been able to manage the level of anxiety when I’m in a crowd and I was doing fine, but this just came out of the blue. I talked with D about this and somehow we ended up with the conclusion that I ‘borrow my self confidence from others’.

This basically means that I haven’t been able to develop my ‘id’, my ‘ego’. My true self. When my mother was still alive I ‘borrowed’ my self from her self. We were entwined so to speak. A symbiosis if you will. I think I’ll let the Psychiatric definition speak for itself.

a relationship between two people in which each person is dependent upon and receives reinforcement, whether beneficial or detrimental, from the other.

With my self confidence it is pretty much the same, save for the part where the other is dependent on me. See it as ‘if THEY fail, how am I supposed to do it better‘

Yes, I’m distorted that way. But how would you have grown up when your mother passed away at 16, one of the most important times in your life, and your father doesn’t guide you through those years after.

Creepy Guy = Creepy

Published on November 24, 2009 in Life and WTF Moment. 0 Comments

After my first individual session of Drama Therapy this morning, I was walking towards the bus station when this guy was riding his bicycle towards me. I was just minding my own business, trying not to give him a hint I was interested in talking. I had my headphones in and just kept looking straight ahead.

He comes to a full stop RIGHT NEXT TO ME and goes “Hey You!” LOUDLY. It startled me somewhat and of course he got what he wanted. I paid attention to him. He proceeds to look me in the eye and starts talking in English, it went something like this.

Him: “Hey, can I ask you a question?”

Me: “What?” (I should have said “You just did”)

Him: “Well, I’ve noticed you around a couple of times. You’re interesting. Would you be interested in becoming my friend?” (First of all, you noticed me a COUPLE of times? I didn’t know you existed until today! Are you stalking me?)

Me: “I’m not interested, sorry.” (I shouldn’t even have said sorry and just kept it with a simple ‘not interested’)

Him: “To bad, I could have showed you a good time.”

Uhm… hello… Creepy much? I ALWAYS seem to attract these type of guys. Never any girls. Now if it was a girl I might have thought about it for a second, heck maybe even two seconds. But this guy was just way to creepy.

Pussy Out In the Cold

Published on November 17, 2009 in Life and Pets. 1 Comment

For the entire day I had been in and out of the house dealing with groceries and appointments. On one of the trips IN the house I had gone upstairs to wash a few pots and pans when I heard a cat meowing. It was just this little faint sound in the background and I dismissed it as being from one of the neighbors’ cats.

As I continued the dishes, I heard the meowing again but this time louder and definitely close by. I looked out the window but did not see anything on a first glance, I opened the door and the meowing started again, LOUDLY. I looked down (we have open stairs leading to the ground, our kitchen is a few feet in the air) and there I saw this little head peek up at me.

And there was the kitten I had seen the day before. I noticed the kitten walking in the backyard yesterday, but didn’t think nothing of it because there are cats walking in and out of our garden all the time and I hadn’t been able to asses its size since it darted under the fence. But I knew the way it looked, the color and it was the same kitten as before.

The meowing just broke my heart into tiny little pieces. It seemed that this little thing didn’t have a home and probably had stayed out all night. I opened my door and it just ran is as fast as it could and settled under the heater. Yup, this kitten had definitely spent the night out.

I gave it a little water and something to eat and it practically swallowed everything without chewing, apparently it hadn’t been eating either. I scooped her up and she immediately settled into my arms. Luckily it was a friendly little thing. I grabbed the carrier I have for the rabbits and put the kitten in there with a towel to keep it warm and brought her to the animal shelter.

It broke my heart to do this, but I didn’t know if she was chipped or not, or if the owner hadn’t yet been able to or if it was just lost and they were looking for her. When I got to the shelter they said it was a little girl, checked if she was chipped, which she wasn’t and informed me that she couldn’t have been more then A MONTH OR SO OLD. Yup, it was just a tiny little thing, well not exactly TINY, TINY she was big for her age. But they said no older then a month or so.

I gave her my info just in case they needed to know more on where I found her and then I asked what they were gonna do with her and they said that she was going into a foster family with another kitten about the same age who was already there. That kitten was the last one to be there so otherwise she would have been all alone at the shelter because she couldn’t be placed with the bigger and older cats yet.

I’m glad that they were able to do that and I’m hopeful that she will be going to a good home. She commended me for getting the kitten to a shelter. Apparently not a lot of people do that and just keep them or let them roam the street. I wasn’t about to. There COULD have been a chance she was chipped which could have reunited with her human family, and staying out another night in the cold. Nope, no way I was going to let that happen either.

Unfortunately I wasn’t able to keep her myself, but if I was allowed I would have fostered her and possibly adopt. I am just glad she found a good foster home where she can build up her strength and immune system.

We can hear you having sex… again

Published on November 13, 2009 in Life. 1 Comment

It seems a lot of people are looking for the phrase “we can hear you having sex” on the internet. What is that all about? The only reason I even found the phrase was because I found that picture on failblog.org. It is not only that specific phrase though. When I searched for the phrase with Google, I found out that A LOT of you are hearing your NEIGHBORS having sex.

What is THAT all about?!

Granted, I’ve had a similar experience like that, except that they weren’t my neighbors and they weren’t next door -> it was my sister and her boyfriend having sex IN MY ROOM, while I WAS IN THE BED ACROSS FROM THEM. I think that may have scarred me from hetero sex for a lifetime. Ok, I wasn’t into hetero sex in the first place, but sex is sex (jeez how many times can one write sex in one blog post) and sex is mostly universally liked by everyone. Including me. Even if I am NOT HAVING ANY. Or ever had any to begin with. But hey, I have hormones. I’d LIKE to be having sex.

Preferably with a certain someone, but that can only happen in my dreams. Dreams that frequently visit me.

So, tell me. How is it that all of you are hearing your neighbors having sex (or anyone having sex really). Did you ’stumble’ upon it. Were you looking for it, or were you just simply minding your own business and were sounds of sex suddenly penetrating (ha!) your ears?

That thing called sex

Published on November 12, 2009 in Funnies, Internet and Life. 2 Comments

You know, maybe I should write more about sex. It shot my visitors through the roof. The funny thing is though. I ain’t having any. I just posted a funny. I think this is yet another piece of proof that EVERYTHING revolves around sex.

Hm, actually, I think that EVERYTHING revolves around all the taboo things we can’t or are not allowed to talk about for fear of people ridiculing others.

I think I’m going to put the keyword ’sex’ into every post for the rest of NaBloWriMo and see what that does to my ratings.

Cleaning House

Published on November 8, 2009 in Life. 2 Comments

In between the card making, listening to music and surfing the internet, I’ve also started cleaning house. I’m not talking about just the vacuuming or dusting, I’m talking total cleaning house. I’m opening drawers and cabinets that may not have been opened for an entire year… or two. I know the stuff that is in there, mostly paper and other junk I thought I would need again some day, but I’ve decided to sort through everything that is in there and start afresh.

And the books… just unbelievable. Behind every nook and cranny I find books. I might just try and sell a few via eBay or something, or just donate them to my local library. First I need to sort through them though, I think I have nearly a hundred books. I’ll keep the medical novels and thrillers and series and such, but I’ll get rid of the other ones. A lot of them are from when I was a kid and used to belong to my mother. Some I’ve read, some I don’t care for… but they were my mom’s and those are just memories you want to keep. Something that belonged to your mother.

But I’ve also learned that while yes, they’re memories, the ones you actually like will have more meaning. My mom and I were both horror fanatics, and obviously I still am, so I will definitely keep the scary books. That is the way I’ll remember my mother.

That damn neck thing

Published on November 5, 2009 in Health and Life. 0 Comments

Dude, I am going to chop this damn muscle out one of these days.

I have discussed in detail what is going on with my neck in a previous post, but this is FAR from being over. There is this one muscle that keeps messing things up in there and makes it uncomfortable and sometimes painful to turn my head to the right. I have my last physical therapy appointment next Friday and I’m not sure if that is enough.

Unfortunately, as I’ve looked up, my health care provider doesn’t cover more than 11 sessions a year. A fortunate thing is that the sessions cost a little under 28 euro. If I continue the sessions every two weeks it would mean that I’d have to cough up about 70 euro to tie me over until the new year when it is covered by health care.

Every time that muscle starts to act up I get the feeling that there is a whole lot more going on than just a muscle tension from stress, especially after all the work the therapist put in getting everything relaxed and in better working order. Occasionally I also get this pulling sensation and feel the right side is pulling everything up and gives off a crooked sensation.

I’ll talk all of this over with the therapist of course, and depending on what she says I might just go visit the doctor again and ask what he has to say. I just simply can not believe that it is a ’simple’ muscle cramp related to stress.

Almost forgot!

Published on October 30, 2009 in Life. 0 Comments

Eek I almost forgot to put up a blog post. Almost failed one of my objectives for the 101 in 1001 days. I think it’ll be just one minute before midnight or something by the time I am done writing.

Anyways. Next week it’ll be a week of saying goodbye to people and therapy. It is just lightly freaking me out. It is not so much the whole actual therapy part, but the people. I’ll friggin’ miss the people like crazy. I’ve spent well over 10 months with some of the people in my group and nearly 18 months with the therapists. That is a huge chunk of my life right there. From 4 days in the week to three days in the week and then suddenly 1 day in the week.

It will be a big adjustment for me. I have already started to line up some things to do. Well I hope those things will fall through anyway. There is the good news that I’m almost completely out of the red numbers at my bank account. I’ll be, at the most, in the red for 100 Euro’s (since there’s the whole groceries part). In about 10 days or so I’ll get my monthly payout and will block the credit I have with the bank. This means I won’t be able to get back in the red numbers again.

I am really looking forward to that, I haven’t been out of the red numbers with my bank account for over 5 years. I think this may even need a celebration or something, or at least something to acknowledge the fact that after 5 years I finally did it and that there are only the other debts left. I still need to pay 33 euros to 1 company. About 300 to another and 800 to yet another, but I’m slowly getting there. I will get rid of the 33 euros this year, the 300 within the next 6 months and the 800 in hopefully a year so that, if everything goes according to plan. I can start to live debt free in 2011.

What a wonderful day

Published on October 27, 2009 in Life. 0 Comments

There are just some of those days where you only encounter ‘what the heck is that all about‘ moments. Today was one of those days. It started this morning on the bus. This woman, I believe to be about 60 or 70 years of age, stepped in the bus and looked around for a seat. A young woman, mid twenties, got up and offered the old lady her seat. What did the old lady do? She flipped the young woman the bird. Seriously. She was only offering a seat. Not a lot of young people do this. You should get pissed at the people who don’t do that. You’re bitching about that too.

Then, later in therapy, something was said to a therapist which had me scratching my head in confusion. Not only that, I got a bit angry to. How dare this person talk to her this way. Yes I’m quite overprotective of my therapist(s).

Just a short one for today. Tomorrow I have a little bit more time and I’ll write more about that life update.

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